“阿墨，你在想什么？”杨逸见我不出声，拍了拍桌子，示意我回魂，“想什么想的这么出神？”                                                                                                             我看了一眼杨逸，有些事情还是不适合在大庭广众之下讲的，往事不堪回首啊不堪……                                                                                                             “其实一见钟情在双发感情萌发阶段有着至关重要的作用。”                                                                                                             杨逸脸上带着笑，伸手r0u了r0u我的头，起初还像一个和气的邻家大哥一样，动作亲昵，可到后来越来越起劲，纯粹往着r0u乱我发型的目的奔去。                                                                                                             “够了吧！”我挥开这个把我的头发r0u的乱糟糟的男人，然后不服输地伸手去r0u他的头发，却意外地发现他的头发虽短，但是无b柔软，“嘿嘿嘿，瞧瞧你的和尚头，手感不错啊。”                                                                                                             “哥我决定要出家去了。”杨逸一脸严肃模样。                                                                                                             我赞许，果然不愧是学长，这个职业实在是太有前途太牛叉了，居然和我的想法不谋而合。在微博上的宣传着某尼姑庵招聘的时候，看到那每个月四千块钱的工资，白天做法事，晚上自由活动还能结婚生子的讯息，我就很想大学毕业之后直接去应聘这个有发光发亮的岗位。                                                                                                             要知道，现在大学毕业生，多的和菜地里面的虫一样，能化成蝴蝶的也就那么几个而已。                                                                                                             ga0的好了，旁边有个和尚庙，还能g搭一个高学历高身材高长相的小和尚，或者旁边有个道士观，撩拨一个穿着长衫扎了个道士头的小道士，悲剧一点的么，顶多也就是像微小说里所说的那样“老贼尼，你休要动他，老衲和你拼了”而已。                                                                                                             后来和靳骐交往了之后，我偶然间对靳骐谈起这曾经梦想的时候，丫的沉默了一会之后，只说了一句——你要真的当了尼姑，我就白天去当被你g引的小和尚，晚上去当被你撩拨的小道士吧……                                                                                                             他果然是很不要脸的。                                                                                                             其实我没有对学长说，那g本就不是一见钟情，而是一贱钟情而已。                                                                                                             当然，小白脸的贱绝对不止有一，更有二有三。                                                                                                             在网球场事件之后又隔了三天，我又再度遇上了靳骐。                                                                                                             学校里面对新生的招聘会又再度开始了，每年到了这个时候，我都有一种长江后浪推前浪的感觉，很不幸的，我是si在沙滩上的那种前浪。                                                                                                             在通往北门毓秀食堂的那一条梧桐路上，凡事有绿荫处，都摆了招聘用的桌子，上面摆着社团的宣传单。                                                                                                             多年媳妇熬成婆，在三年前我也是这样经过，然后一眼被杨逸煞到，然后义无反顾地投入了广播社怀抱，终于也轮到了我今天招新的这一日，突然觉得自己有种农奴翻身把歌唱的味道。                                                                                                             十点半的校园铃声响过，往食堂路上的人渐渐地多了起来，也有不少感兴趣新生在各个社团的宣传桌前流连，然后询问。                                                                                                             我漫不经心地和上前来的咨询新生寒暄着，遇上感兴趣的，递上一本宣传单和一张报名表。                                                                                                             而靳骐就是在这样的情况下出现的。                                                                                                             人是一个很奇怪的存在。                                                                                                             有些角se就算是出场的再多，也没能给人留下印象，这种叫做龙套；有些戏份一般，赚了个脸熟，这种叫做p灰；而有些人，一鸣惊人，让人过目难忘，这种叫做主角。                                                                                                             而靳骐，就是这种主角型的人物。                                                                                                             他慢慢悠悠地走了过来，yan光透过那茂密的梧桐叶洒下来的时候有点支离破碎，照在他身上的时候，形成了一种很虚幻的感觉，那头发散着淡淡地光晕。                                                                                                             他像从漫画里面走出来的一种虚拟人物，二维的不真实啊！                                                                                                             可是，在这条路上的很多nv生在一眼之内就被这个男生被萌到了，肾上腺在很大程度上收到了刺激，开始分泌出名为“荷尔蒙”的物质。                                                                                                             哎，这只是一个表象而已，他的个x绝对会让一群nv人陷入悲哀的，吃过两次亏的我在心底哼了哼。                                                                                                             他的身边站着那天傍晚见过的国产电灯男，两大帅哥站在一起的时候，被萌到的nv生又多了一批。                                                                                                             估计很多隐藏的腐nv正在内心yy两人谁攻谁受吧，我想。                                                                                                             靳骐慢慢吞吞地从走过，然后又慢慢吞吞地倒了回来。                                                                                                             “哟，学姐！”                                                                                                             他嚷着，我的头皮在听到他这一声呼喊的时候开始发麻，g据上一次的经验，他这么叫我的话，绝对没有什么好事。                                                                                                             呜呼哀哉呀！                                                                                                             “有事？”                                                                                                             我扯了扯脸皮，皮笑r不笑。                                                                                                             要淡定啊要淡定，在大庭广众之下绝对不可以做出丢脸的事情来，就算要捡小石头丢他后脑勺也要等到没人的时候，我默默地告诫自己。                                                                                                             上帝说，在别人打你右脸的时候，你就要把自己的左脸也伸上去让他打。上帝告诉我们，要忍。                                                                                                             凌墨，好nv不与男斗，你要当忍者g公！                                                                                                             = =+                                                                                                             “你好，我是李澈。”                                                                                                             站在靳骐旁边的国产电灯泡开了口，脸上带着歉意的微笑，伸出手很示好的模样。                                                                                                             “终于不是山寨了？”                                                                                                             我哼了哼，意思意思地握了一下手，全部心思放在靳骐身上，等待着他的出招。                                                                                                             李澈听到我这么说，脸上的笑容瞬间凝固，尴尬上了三分。                                                                                                             靳骐的手指敲上了桌面，捻起了一张宣传单子瞧了两眼。                                                                                                             “学姐，看不出来你还是广播社的？”                                                                                                             靳骐放下了单子，看着我，问了一声，声音里面也没有好奇的成分，顶多就是“啊，今天天气很不错，你吃饭了么”这种平淡的感觉。                                                                                                             “恩。”                                                                                                             我哼了一声，怎么说我也算广播社一大牛b的存在，你要萝莉音我绝对不给你憋出御姐声来，你要猛男音我绝对不给你出伪娘声，当年我还用这一招当过电话小姐，帮社里面的人接听不愿意接听的电话。                                                                                                             靳骐和李澈的停留，让路过的nv孩子像是我当年一样涌了过来，一边像是真的对广播社很有兴趣地问东问西，一边还能分出神来瞄着两株好苗子。                                                                                                             我一边发着宣传单，顺带递出一张报名表。                                                                                                             “阿墨阿墨，你认识这两个男生？”坐我旁边的社友吴慧静扯了扯我的胳膊，压低了声音问着。                                                                                                             “算是吧。”我冷哼，实在是不想回想那悲剧的记忆，喝粥的日子实在太难熬了。                                                                                                             “阿墨，把那浑身散发着男x荷尔蒙的小男生拐进我们社团吧，保证今年会很热闹。”吴慧静提议。                                                                                                             我嗤之以鼻，我们社团神马时候需要美se的出没来x1引众人的眼球？我们一向都是少而j，j而贵的。                                                                                                             “学姐……”靳骐凑近了点，脸上的笑容温暖的像是要把周围的人都融化，“把你的饭卡借我用一下吧，我忘在宿舍了。”                                                                                                             我一口气差点没提上来。                                                                                                             居然有脸跟我借饭卡，你说这人可以再无耻一点么？                                                                                                             “自己回去拿，男生寝室不是离食堂很近么，你想去毓秀就去毓秀，你想去假山就去假山，研究生那边的食堂也任君选择。”                                                                                                             我们学校有三个食堂，而男生寝室的分布也没有个准章，分布的挺零零落落的，我当然也不会觉得因为我没有借他饭卡而会把这么大一个男生给活活饿si。                                                                                                             靳骐的表情似乎有点不大乐意，就站在那边瞅着我，一直瞅着，大有一副我不拿出来，这家伙就不会离开的样子。                                                                                                             国人有一种心态，那就是喜欢看戏看热闹，就算大学生也不例外。                                                                                                             在我和靳骐大眼瞪小眼打算瞪到天荒地来海枯石烂之极，那些个下了课而向食堂进军的人cha0之中也有不少想要看热闹，围将了上来，想要看个热闹。                                                                                                             当然的，其他热情的姑娘饭卡都已经是c在了手上，准备随时塞上去给小白脸君，又或者打算和他一起去食堂用餐。                                                                                                             看吧，这就是散发着主角气场的人物所拥有的福利，所到之处，染set为y的人基本上都会为之倾倒。                                                                                                             但是靳骐似乎和我杠上了。                                                                                                             算了，我忍，不就是忍者g公么，又不是第一回了。                                                                                                             我从口袋里面掏出饭卡丢给他，严肃地告诫：“只准消费六块钱！”                                                                                                             mlgb的，要不是我现在在这边社团招新走不开，我能容许你这小白脸如此放肆？食堂和外头快餐差不了多少，各种餐点都有，但是一荤三素同样六块，别想多花姐姐我一毛钱！                                                                                                             靳骐看了我一眼，把饭卡握在了手心，然后伸开了手掌，猛地一个熊抱。                                                                                                             “学姐，你可真是个好人啊！”靳骐说着，然后凑近了我的耳刮子低语了一声，“学姐，你的纽扣似乎又开了。”                                                                                                             _#                                                                                                             混蛋，你的视线一直往哪瞄呢！                                                                                                             在靳骐松开双臂的时候，我条件反s地去看着自己的x，这一低眼，我就知道自己又着了这混蛋的骗，我今天穿的是圆领短袖，g本就没有扣子！                                                                                                             凸！                                                                                                             靳骐甩着我的饭卡，和李澈欢乐地往着食堂进军。                                                                                                             “阿墨，你们两个有一腿？”吴慧静看了看远去的靳骐，然后又看了看我之后，才小心翼翼地开了口问着。                                                                                                             “不，我想给他两腿！”                                                                                                             我咬牙切齿，恨不得壮志饥餐混蛋r，笑谈渴饮白脸血！